Breaking up is hard to do, and breaking up with a best friend is even harder. We used to be thick as thieves, sisters, brain-twins. But now we feel as distant as the ocean is deep.I once couldn’t imagine a life without you, and now I feel like I don’t even know you.
How did this happen? I’ve spent countless hours trying to figure it out, trying to figure you out, and I’ve run out of explanations. I’ve run out of reasons to continue to try to remain friends when it’s so painfully obvious you don’t care. I’ve exhausted every avenue to try to make you understand how your words and actions affect me. I’m over trying to decipher which parts of your life are fact, and which are a made up social media personality. I’m sick of sharing my thoughts and feelings and only rarely receiving human emotion from you. Quite frankly I’m tired of having it always turned around on me, as if I’m the one who destroyed this friendship by being happy.
Despite how hurt and angry and sad I am about the end of our friendship, I want to thank you.It might surprise you, but I have a lot to thank you for.
I want to thank you for helping me realize that it’s okay to put myself first. It sucks to constantly feel like I don’t know where we stand. I can’t continue to put more into this than you do. It’s just not okay that I make you a priority when I’m clearly only an option.
I want to thank you for showing me that I shouldn’t have to question our friendship. I’m done hearing you talk about other people and then act like you’re their friend, all the while wondering if you’re doing the same to me. A true friend is one that I can trust implicitly.
I want to thank you making me see what is important to me in a friend. Before you I didn’t know how much I value honesty, reciprocity, transparency and loyalty. I now know what to look for and steer clear of in my future relationships, and I can’t thank you enough for that.
Lastly, I want to thank you for helping me understand that losing a best friend isn’t the end of the world. That I can move on and be happy. That there are people out there that do care for me and are my true friends. Thank you for showing me that.
I want you to know that while I don’t regret the end of our friendship, the memories we have are still good ones. I do hope you figure out what you’re looking for and eventually find it.